According to Wikipedia – Hair is one of the defining characteristics of mammals. Our attitudes towards hair is often used to indicate a person’s personal beliefs or social position, such as their age, gender, or religion. Is this why losing my hair is so difficult? After the past week of achenes and flu-like symptoms from the Neulasta , you would think its just one more side effect , and most likely a minor one.
So why does it matter ?
I have been teased about my “WILD Hair” for as long as IA can remember – Remember those days of ironing your hair – or the HUGE curlers we used to relax our curls in the 70’s ? It has become part of my identity. One that I’ve learned to embrace and love these days. I received a phone call the other day from a caring relative. Her words were something like OMG what does your wig look like, your hair is just so unique, it’s so your identity. She meant no harm, but is my identity what I am afraid of losing ? My cousin nicknamed me “curly” when we were very young, and I smile everytime my daughter calls me Curly. I love it . I guess its not really about my hair but losing part of me. As I picked up my wig yesterday, I sat quietly in the chair as she taught me how to put it on and off along with how wash and care for it. I changed the thoughts in my head to all the great people who have come into my life. ( I seem to swtich subjects alot these days)
For the turban that a friend sent from New Jersey to the warm socks and gossip magazines from one of my young soccer players. The 4 Alex & Ani bracelets entitled “Champion , Embrace the Power of Positivity, Arms of Strength -hope/resilience/support & Guardian Angel” The movie “God is NOT Dead” a memory lamp of life and all the cards, flowers and many other signs of support.
A week of healing.
What does that mean? It means a week of no needles, no tests, no doctor appointments, and the opportunity to feel myself and heal from the previous weeks. I will celebrate the small victories. This will include taking my daily walks , enjoying soccer games, working with my business partners and training those who I’ve been blessed with, including my awesome gal in London.I will be taking care of the important things in my life, Dan, Ashley, Tyler and myself.
Healing also means that I will deal with my hair loss, It is only one aspect of my identity, and when its time for Tyler to shave my head, I know its just another step to recovering and that chemo is my friend, it hates cancer and does not define me.